Wednesday, August 18, 2010

the U.K.razy!!!

I'm so excited I can't hardly see straight! I'm about to do something that ... millions of people have done- but now I get to do it!!

Check this: I'm on a bus, that is on a train, that is in a tunnel, that is under the English Channel! WHAT?!?!?Then the lady at passport control had to go and kill my buzz.

I was the last in line, she questioned me for 30 min. (which held the bus up-and all buses following- which then contributed to us arriving 21/2 hrs. late)

I was given a form to fill out before reaching the desk. My favorite question: occupation. Why not just ask me what I want to do with the rest of my life!?! With a deep breath and gigantic punch to my ego, I wrote 'unemployed'.
Big mistake.
Here's a brief portion of our conversation.pASSport control: unemployed??? You left your country in a recession to come spend money that will not benefit your economy?Me: (shakin' in my boots) umm... Yes ma'am.
pASSport: obviously you're not paying for this.
Me: actually... (cut off)
pASSport: you could be deported.
(DEPORTED??!?!??!!)

pASSport: do you know anyone in the UK?Me: yes!! Her name is Laura! She's in Edinburgh!
pASSport: and what does she do?
Me: she just graduated... And she's raising her son.
pASSport: so she's a housewife.
Me: don't you think that term is a little outdated?
another big mistake.

pASSport: I'm getting the impression here that you are going to Edinburg to work for this "Laura" (yes, she made quotation marks in the air with her chubby little British fingers) and raise her son.
Me: WHAT?!??! I have a degree from the University of Texas! Known to some as 'the Harvard of the south'!! Why would I want to raise a kid?!?!?(ok... maybe I didn't say all of that last part.)

After 25 min. I was granted 11 days in the UK. Sitting right next to the stamp in my passport- 11 days.

My first night in London I got to spend with a familiar face of a friend on his last night. The London night plays extreme tricks on people like me. First- it's so cold. Like Christmas morning cold. But it's August. Second- I still sware I saw foxes in the street. And best of all is third- creepers watching us through binoculars in white vans. None of this was true- except for the cold part.The next morning I had the pleasure of meeting my roommates at the hostel. Somehow I happened to wind up in a room full of boys from Texas! Unfortunately, they are those kinds of boys from Texas that you don't want the rest of the world to know about. TCU frat boys who (still) pop their collar, spit dip, and have a tendency to drink so much they fall asleep in bars. They somehow convinced me to go out with them one night- after an hour and a half I bailed and ended up sleeping for 15 hrs. (new personal record.)

London is so freaking big. My time there was basically a cluster of walking and looking at things that looked better in my imagination than in real life.Buckingham palace- tiny.
Tower of London- so small.
London bridge- are you kidding me?!?! It's a bridge that says 'London Bridge' on it.

But this, this is my favorite part of London:

A reminder for the rest of the world which way to look when crossing the street.
Then it was off to Scotland- where you can hear bagpipes everywhere. Seriously. Here in Edinburgh, there is the only statue (ever) of an angel playing the bagpipes.

This is also the birth place of the phrase "shit faced". Back in the day (pre-plumbing) people would throw their waste from a bucket out the window and yell something in French, that ironically sounds like "beware of the pop!!!". Being sober- one would step to the side and seek cover. Being drunky-one would look up and say "huh??"
And then... 'shit faced'.

Being a very short trip (remember the '11 days delima') I still had time to get lunch with Laura and her beautiful son that I am not staying in Scotland to raise for money, dance with the stinkiest Germans ever, and ride in a backwards car. By backwards car I mean I sat on the left and the car was moving on the left side of the road. The guy driving had a whole conversation with me in which I did not participate in, or pay attention to, because I was to busy freaking the f out.

Edinburgh is a beautiful city.


This is Arthur's Seat- which I found out was an active volcano when I was already on the top of it.

Next stop- the mother land- Ireland. (I know, technically not the UK. But their all over there together.)

On the plane ride over I sat next to a girl randomly who also happened to be from Texas, and grew up in a neighborhood not far from mine. Going through passport control the officer asked which one of us was the 'wildest one'. A little creeped out we just smiled, laughed a little, and continued on walking. Not knowing what that was about- I said "BTW, I'm Erin." and she was all like "No! I'm Erin!" omg. Now we know what that was all about!

People often ask me how I meet people when I am traveling alone. You take in a deep breath- tell yourself "you're amazing"- approach, and be charming. Occasionally it can be a complete failure and you get stuck in lame conversations with people who suck. In Dublin- total success. I met 2 loooovely ladies (1 from Texas!) and we had the most amazing time ever.

Our first night in Dublin was a Saturday- rightfully so we went on a pub crawl. Man... I'm telling ya... those Irish.

But now I'm beginning to question the progressive evolution of man. At one point in the night I kept feeling a small but sharp sting hit my back every few seconds. I look over and see some guy (Australian..) throwing skittles at me. I said "excuse me- I don't even know you and you're throwing skittles at me." his response "you're cute. Wanna skittle?" NO I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOUR STUPID SKITTLES!!!!

And like the champs we are- we were up at Guiness storehouse the next morning. This place was amazing- 7 stories high and has everything from the original lease for 9000 years, step by step brewing, the rules for a proper pour of Guiness, and a Guiness on the top floor with a 360 view of Dublin.


I know Guiness can be pretty intimidating- but I tried something that changed my life. However, the Irish find it to be rather blasphemous. Black current in the beer!! Makes it more lady like.

Then one of my favorite pastimes. Naps. But make it better- on a grassy knoll with a game of cricket in the sun at Trinity College. We then spoke for hours on life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And took senior photos.


There's been this crazy rumor going around about something that I couldn't believe- but I've seen it with my own eyes.
Do you see anything wrong with this picture?


In Ireland (where bartenders get punched for pouring a Guiness wrong) on draft- next to Bulmers and Heineken- is Coor's Light. And the love the shit of that pee.

On a different topic- when I was a baby one of my mothers best friends attempted to teach me my first word. Over and over again "WHISKEEEY!!!!!" needless to say- I'm a whiskey girl. And a salivate when think about it- Jameson girl!

Everybody together now- WHISKEEEY!!!!


On our last afternoon in Dublin we saw a crazy drunk being crazy. I said, "That's the only crazy drunk I've seen in Ireland." to which I was given the reply "Obviously you didn't see how we looked on Saturday night." Hurts so good!!!!

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